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Allow Me to Introduce My Best Friend

25 October 2008 7 Comments

Where do i even start with this?  I've been typing this post for quite a while and i can never seem to give it justice so it's taken me a while to say exactly what i want to say.  And i still probably won't give it justice because some things in life, there are just no words for.  If you don't like mushy love talk, then stop reading here! ha

I'll soon be 43 years old.  I've told this to quite a few people in the last couple of years, that i feel like my life just has started.  To say that i feel different and look at life different now, is the biggest understatement ever!  What caused the big change in my life?  One word... Misty!

I was married for 19 years, 19 LONG years!  I'm not going to go into details about what was wrong with that marriage because it wouldn't serve any purpose.  I will say this, up until a couple of years ago, i never knew what love, life and happiness was truly about.  Thanks to Misty, that has all changed!

After going through a separation and divorce, and Misty going through the same thing, we became close friends.  We had always been friends but after both our situations, we started talking about life, relationships etc etc and all i can say is WOW.  I always wondered if i would ever find happiness, i always wondered if i would ever find true love.  Misty has not only given me those 2 things, but so much more!  Gosh, i really wish i could just put a window in this post, for you all to look through that would allow you to look into my heart, that way you could see what i'm trying to say.  I feel like there's nothing i can say in words that will truly express what and how i feel about life now.

For the first 40 years of my life, i feel like i lived for everyone else.  I feel as though i have always had so much love in my heart for people and i always felt like i had a desire to give my everything to that special person in my life.  I never could do that with my previous relationship.  I don't blame my ex, i blame the circumstances.  All those years i felt as though i was never able to be Jeff, the real Jeff.  The Jeff that is romantic at heart, the Jeff that has such a desire to please someone.  I could just never be me.  I look back now and i feel as though when i look at my life before 40, i see an entirely different person.  A person that was miserable in my heart and in my mind.  Depression is a terrible thing folks, it will rob you of just about everything in your life and can sometimes rob you of your life itself.  I almost came to that point several times.  I can remember many times i would just go for drives alone.  I would go visit my mom and dad's grave and just sit and cry.  There were times i wanted to end it all so bad.  I remember sitting at intersections and just being in a daze, thinking, i'll just wait until that tractor trailor comes over the hill and i'll pull out and that'll be the end of it.  Or i can just drive into that bridge and maybe it'll look like an accident but at least i won't have to deal with these feelings anymore.  During those times, all i could think about was my daughter.  Having lived without parents most of my life, i never wanted Ashley to feel that lost feeling that i did when i lost my parents.  My daughter changed me when she came into this world, which is another story, and she did more for me during those "lost" times than she'll ever know.

The separation and divorce actually hinged on my daughters feelings, i needed to know she was ok with things.  As miserable as i was, it was more important to me to know that she would be ok.  When i felt in my heart that she understood and that it was time for me to live for Jeff, that's when my life started to change!

I've mentioned before in other posts that there have been two Angels in my life.  One was my granny, the the other is Misty.  Misty has changed my life so much and i can not even begin to explain or express what she means to me.  If anyone reading this is in love, and that person is your best friend, soul mate and you know you can't live without them, then you know what i feel.  If you don't have those feelings in your life, i hope that someday you will find those feelings and be able to share the love and companionship that i do and be able to feel this wonderful feeling that i feel!

Where do i even start with Misty...  I look at her and my heart melts.  Everything about this woman is my dream come true.  I'm in love with every part of her!  She has such a heart of gold, she has a beautiful outlook on life and she's got the hottest lips God ever created! haha!  I KNOW in my heart we were meant to be together.  We both understand each other, we communicate so well.  We love the same things and want the same things from life.  As i said, before 40 i had this person inside of me that wanted out, the person i was, was bottled up inside me and for the first time in my life, Misty allowed me to be me!  There is nothing more in life than i want, than to please Misty.  Taking care of her, romancing her, doing everything in my power to please her and give her a beautiful life, that is my hearts desire.  Those are the things that Jeff always needed to do, and now i can do that because i have found that special person that i can share my life with and now i can be me and know it's real.  To see that smile on her face and know she's happy, to be able to do for her, take care of her, provide for her, those are the things that make me complete.  She has made me complete in so many ways.

I always use to worry about what people thought, i always tried to live for other people.  Never again!  Life is way to short to be miserable!

Although we've had some battles to deal with, we've always come out strong and closer!  Our happiness will never be decided by someone else's view on what a relationship should be.  We've been judged because of our age difference, we've been talked about and some still haven't accepted it, but we stand stronger than ever on what WE know is right and what WE know is perfect!

My life started at 40.  Some have asked me if i would go through what i went through again if i had a choice.  All i have to say to that is, if that was the only way that would have lead me to Misty and this life i have now, then YES, i would do it all again in a heartbeat!  That along with my beautiful daughter leaves me with no regrets!

Misty, THANK YOU!  Thank you for being such a beautiful person inside and out.  Thank you for your dedication, you laughter, your smiles.  Thank you for those hugs that i look forward to everyday.  Thank you for the wonderful times we've had already and the things we've shared that mean so much to us.  Thank you for your tender heart and for believing in me.  You teach kids every day at work, thank you for also teaching me about love, life and happiness!  I love dancing with you, experiencing new things with you, i love our conversation and i love what's in store for us as we walk together through life.  You will never know how much you changed me and you will never understand how you gave me new life.  We have so many wonderful times ahead of us and i get so excited thinking about what's in store for us.  Thank you for being my best friend Misty, you ARE my Angel!

If any of you have a special person in your life, feel free to share.  I can only hope that you have what we have and feel what we feel.

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7 Comments »

  • misty said:

    I love you! WOW! …there is absolutley no reason for you to ever ask me why I’m with you!

    [Reply]

  • Ashley Jayne said:

    you guys are so sweet. When anyone ever asks about you guys, or has something to say about your age, I have a mouthfull to tell them :) . I always say they are definitely made for each other. I’ve never seen my father so happy before, and I can tell that it’s real love. They’re not together for money, for attention, for anything but pure love. They complete each other, and now I couldn’t imagine how life would be without Misty there!

    But, I do agree with you, everything happens for a reason! As unhappy as you were, you may not have moved where you did, may not have even met her if I weren’t there to meet Michelle, maybe God just needed to put you through those situations 1)so you could meet the true love of your life and 2)so you could understand what true love is :)

    love you guys!

    [Reply]

  • Jake (author) said:

    With tears in my eyes, you don’t know how much that means to me! I love you baby girl!!!

    [Reply]

  • Big Sis said:

    As “Luke” says……….hooowww sweeeet!
    BTW…Misty seems to “just fit”…like she’s been a part of this family for a long time.

    Luv ya, little bro. Glad you’re so happy!!!!

    [Reply]

  • Jake (author) said:

    Thank you! She Is an amazing person, woman and best friend!

    [Reply]

  • Money Making Ideas ~ Suzanne said:

    Hey thanks a LOT! Now I’m crying and can’t work! I sure wish I could meet you guys … you really do seem like “my kind of peeps” … *huGs* to you both! Suzanne

    [Reply]

  • Jake (author) said:

    Well if/when Misty ever talks me into flying, maybe we can come visit the great state of Texas!!

    She is AWESOME! Of course anybody that puts up with me has to be special!

    Thanks for the sweet comment!

    [Reply]

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